Has your spouse already filed for divorce? The good news is that you can stop divorce in practically any stage of the proceedings, although the earlier, the better. While pausing the proceedings can buy you time, our goal here is to convince your partner to give up the idea completely so you can save your relationship.
In order to prevent the divorce you do not want, you will have to convince your dissatisfied husband or wife that the marriage is worth another try. Have you been pleading that for some time now? If so, you want to stop. Nagging is not the answer nor what I recommend.
To stop divorce in its tracks the person filing has to feel that perhaps they have made a mistake or been too hasty. Pleading does not do that, it just irritates them and convinces them that you are a loser who they need to leave behind quickly.
Instead, you want to do your best to act in an adult, mature manner with the goal of being pleasant around everyone you are near, not just your spouse. Focus on the bright side of things and try to put a smile on your face every day. People prefer being around happy people and you want your spouse to prefer to be around you.
Have you tried marital counseling in the past? Did you really give it your best shot? Many times people file for divorce simply because they do not feel appreciated and respected by their spouse.
One shows respect and appreciation in part by what they say, but more so by what they do. Always make sure you keep your part of the house clean and tidy - especially the bathroom, and make sure you do your chores. Then, seek out ways of helping your spouse or partner with their chores.
Never bring attention to the extras you might do, let them notice. How about the refrigerator, is it stocked with your favorites or theirs? Is all of their stuff shoved to the back? Little things mean a lot.
These things may or may not be brought up in counseling; sometimes they are not considered important but you can bet they are.
When you know your spouse has made an extra effort to look good, do you mention it and honestly compliment him or her? It does not matter if they did it for you or not. How often do you thank them for cooking a nice meal or taking out the garbage or washing the car?
Start with the small things and move on to the larger. Think back about how you were initially attracted to each other then ask yourself what you used to do (or not do) and how that compares with your current day behavior or appearance.
When you were dating you probably made an effort to look your best for your love interest; do you now? Start doing these things again and if you are trying to stop a divorce in progress you had better get busy right away.
These legal proceedings usually take some time, or can at least be "encouraged" to take some time. That time gives you an opportunity to get the "new improved you" noticed. You may want to make a note card of changes to make and carry it with you for reminders through out the day.
Remember, your spouse has a circle of friends, coworkers and family who will not be fooled. Your behavior must be better in front of them, too, not just the spouse you want to keep. Saving a marriage requires more than just some "fronting" to an unhappy spouse.
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