It is very tough to be in a situation where you are facing an unwanted divorce. You may feel like you don't know how you got here, and you certainly don't know how to stop your divorce and save your marriage. While there are a lot of things you should do during this time, there are also many things you should not. Here are a few of the common mistakes people make in this situation.
One thing people do which is a mistake is begging and pleading with their spouse not to leave. This may seem like the right thing to do at the time, especially because you may not know what else to do. However, this is probably one of the worst things you can do at this time.
Desperation is not an attractive trait. When you beg your spouse not to leave, what you are telling him or her is that you are desperate. And while this may keep them from walking out at that particular moment, it will have the opposite effect in the long run. To save your marriage, avoid begging.
Another mistake people make is that they expect their spouse to change. While you are both going to have to make some changes to save your marriage, trying to turn things around and tell your spouse to change is not going to stop your divorce, it is more likely to speed up the process.
On the other hand, you will have to be willing to change. Being unwilling to make changes based on feedback from your spouse is another mistake many people make. And you will probably have to show your spouse that you've changed, since you've probably told them you were going to change before.
And when it comes to feedback from your spouse, another common mistake is to not handle this very well. Your spouse may get emotional and lose his or her cool while telling you, which in turn causes you to lose yours. Diffuse the situation by accepting the criticism, and really work on the changes suggested, and you will be well on your way to saving your marriage.
One last mistake many people make is to not get counseling. You may not be able to convince your spouse to join you for couples counseling. If you can, you should definitely both go. However, if you can't, you should still find a counselor to talk to, who can help you get through this rough time.
Just doing the right things sometimes isn't enough. You need to be aware of, and avoid, the common mistakes that people make when they are trying to stop a divorce. Often just making one of these can undo all of your hard work to save your marriage.
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